24 October 2012

Grieving is a process…

Posted by stephyc under: Uncategorized .

Yesterday we remembered my two brothers,


and Jared


who died from injuries sustained in a car accident 19 years ago.  One thing that I have learned in 19 years is that you never know what the “anniversary” will bring.  One year it’s a fleeting thought, another year the whole month doesn’t make sense, and yet another year you remember for a day.

This year leading into October got me annoyed (to say the least) and it didn’t stop there.  The memories were very strong this year and I found myself thinking of things I haven’t thought about in years.  I could remember exact words and moments that happened, things that I had long since wanted to forget.

Please keep in mind that I have only one regret; that I didn’t go to Jared’s football game (Thursday night) and wish I had.

The things that I saw, heard, and felt early Saturday morning are not anything I would wish for anyone to ever go through.  That being said…If you ever find yourself experiencing a tragic event (even life changing) don’t hesitate to get the help that you need.  I can tell you that I wish I had years ago (I guess that makes two regrets, but I didn’t know about this one right away.)

Grieving is a process and much like life can’t always be handled in the same way each time you experience something.  Each year (in October or early fall) I have to find the best way for me to grieve.  Many times it’s with fond memories; smiles, football games, music, laughs, baseball games, etc…  However, on occasion I remember the specific events that lead up to my learning that not one, but two of my brothers had died.  When I do I fight to suppress the pain and depression that want to take control of my emotions.

I’m so grateful for a loving, supportive family that helps me during these moments.  I’m grateful for friends that share their memories of Brian and Jared with us, allowing us another perspective of how they lived their lives.  Each person that I know who also knew my brothers has a special memory with them.  I am so lucky that many have shared their special moments with me!

YES!  I have lived through a tragic event, but through the love and support of others I know of the great love that God has for us.  He had his hand in this…and still does!


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Stephanie Shultz is a wife and mom two little girls in Cottonwood, Arizona. She enjoys photography, hiking, scrapbooking and sight seeing.



October 2012
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